Pic by rkleine (license: CC BY-NC 2.0)
I had a really bad day a couple of days ago. I woke up late. I went to the office without proper preparation. I opened the e-mail and got a very frustrating Quest from my boss. I was overly sensitive towards almost everything. My team was not doing their job properly. Another team we work with kept nagging me with a server bug that had been around for months. Right before lunch-time, I hid in the empty Musholla (a small room fellow Moslems use to pray) and cried.
It was a dreadful 4 hours.
Care to find out more?
Here is a kinda weird sudden realization about doing what I love for work.
My work requires me to write A LOT. It is fun, I love it. Yet, there are challenges to meet: Targets, meetings, reports. Add a touch of each tiny disaster as urgent unplanned changes, co-workers nagging for help, bosses rejecting strategy plans, and voila! I have got the perfect recipe for ‘Job Stress.’
At a point of time in the day… When I am so sick of writing MoMs, that is when my brain needs to refresh. When writing a press release takes hours it gives me headache, that is the cue that my nerves needs to be loosened.
I need a break. From work. From writing.
So, what do I do during break time?
See the irony?
Now I see why my fiancee, a game programmer, codes for fun on Sundays.
(and yes, this blog post is written after I just finished writing through all of one day’s Quests.)
My mood was topsy-turvy yesterday. With no ATM card I’d just lost, there was too little cash in my wallet, and it was a long weekend so the bank closed. On top of it, my boyfriend wouldn’t come to Bandung. Instead, I had to go to Jakarta if I wanted to meet him. Bummer.
I sent a harsh SMS, saying that he was a snob for showing such an apathy. I called him and started to yell at him. I didn’t really mean it, but I guess it broke my heart as much as I broke his.
When I finally pulled myself together, I realized that the situation wasn’t that bad. Solutions emerged one by one, and suddenly I felt terribly sorry for all I’d done.
Sounds familiar, huh?
Yeah, regrets always come last. During panic attacks we often do something we don’t mean to, but we do it anyway. People we actually love are so hurt that we’re left with nothing but clearer perspective: the situation might’ve been different if we’d done it differently. But that’s just too late sometimes.
Lucky for me, my boyfriend has a big heart. He forgave me within minutes, saying that me gone mad in such situation was completely understandable. Geez, after what I’d done to him…
Apologizing to him, I kept telling myself that it wouldn’t happen again. So I browsed about how to control emotions in the middle of a panic attack. Turns out a simple breathing relaxation technique can help. I tried it this morning and it worked! So lemme share it with you, yes?
Just keep reading!