My fiancee, Ibnu, asked me to marry him as soon as possible. If God allows it, I would be Mrs. Triyono by the end of the year. In less than 3 months!
Ibnu will be a great life partner, I know. And yet, somehow, I am suddenly in fear.
So many questions are running through my head!
Can I be a good wife? Can I be a good mom?
If something is wrong, how to make it right?
Can I still write when I am married?
Can I still play videogames when I have kids? And, if I can, which games should I play with them?
And there is this space. Oh, the space!
I have a personal space I will soon share with another person. When it feels too crowded, I cannot just walk away, can I?
But, what if we get bored of each other? What to do when the initial excitement fades out? How to keep our relationship fun as it is?
And… And… Why am I having all these questions?! Is this normal?
I wish mom and dad were here. They could have guided me, or even scolded me. Either way would have been much better than dealing with this situation alone.
(They are gone. And I am getting over it. I am supposed to get over it already! Instead, I blog about this, hahaha…)
Four of my friends got divorced. Two others are filing for it. And they all share one fact: They once loved their ‘soul mates’ and promised each other to defend that flame of love. Together. Forever.
Well, that is exactly how I feel about Ibnu right now. I love him. But those suffering couples prove that love alone is not enough.
When I play RPGs, I usually prepare required weapons, skills and supportive parties before I enter a scary dungeon. Getting married is a waaay scarier dungeon. There is no replay button. There is no walkthrough. Not even IGN‘s YouTube videos advising how to slay the ‘hidden dragon.’
Wait. Is there any book called Getting Married for Dummies? I kinda need it. Urgently. Absolutely.